FLASHBACK
Using the Telephone
Hipsters hate talking on their cells. Why? They can’t weave clever word traps when they’re stuttering into their iPhones (yes, iPhones—although scenesters claim an aversion to modern technology, they all have iPhones).
One can’t come up with witty abbreviations, peppering a mundane message about the tragically rainy day (God is fucking crying all over me!) with the neologisms one so enjoys when the person on the other line actually has a chance of getting a word in edgewise. Any other form of communication is preferable: texts reign supreme, closely followed by Facebook and Myspace (on which hipsters may carry on appropriately whimsical conversations for all the world to see). Might as well disable the ringer on your celly—that hipster ain’t calling.
